I was brought to tears today. Not intentionally, not maliciously. Today someone told me that they were proud of me.
I revealed a piece of my heart today to some of the loveliest, most supportive friends I have had the pleasure of meeting. Not because I wanted their pity or for them to feel sorry for me. I wasn't seeking anything. I was just sharing an experience. I don't trust easily. I've been broken and mended. But when I do trust I trust whole heartedly. Because that is the kind of person I am.
After letting it out and letting it go, an unprovoked response came back. "Well I am proud of you". I was instantly in tears. Why? As children and adults we seek approval of family, friends and peers. As we know it doesn't always come in the form of words like these, it doesn't mean someone isn't proud of us, we just haven't heard it. And when they came today like that - I think it was because I don't remember having heard them before or for a very long time, and I melted.
Then it got me thinking. What am I proud of?
I could prattle on about the usual things like my kids and husband and their achievements - yes I am very proud of them. I could talk about my family and friends, yes I am proud of them too. Have I told them that I am proud of them? Yes and No. I tell my son all the time I am proud of him. Because I am. Everyone else not as often as I could.
But is that the answer to my question? I don't think it is. That seems too simple an answer to me. So I think the question should be "What am I proud of about ME?"
It is not a question I have actually found easy to answer to be honest. I never can answer those questions that require me to praise myself. I have however come to realise that the opinions of others doesn't make you or break you. It is only the opinion of myself and making myself proud that matters. So on reflection I am proud of the person I am today for all the life experiences I have had, good and bad. I am not tough, but I am strong. I am honest, loyal, caring and loving. Of that I am proud. Finally realising and being proud of myself makes my heart sing.
Thank you to the lovely that told me today. It has brought me a day of happiness, today and everyday onwards. And it was thought provoking.
I leave you with the question "What are you proud of?"